Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
