I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
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i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we're making bets on your personal life
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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