wakey wakey hands off snakey
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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