she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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