That's intense
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
