4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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