how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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