sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
