I hope mine doesn't look like that
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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