dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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