He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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