Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my sisters under your porch take her home
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
