It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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