we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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