I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
