yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
