Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
