Your dad touched me again.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
