Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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