I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
