need another drink. this is the easiest way
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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