I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
