if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
should my penis look like a turkey
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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