remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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