nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
