1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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