Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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