For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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