I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
