Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
