I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
