quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.