how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation