Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
