put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
