I think I won the penis lottery.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
