I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
