dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
