He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
