She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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