I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
