She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
