you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
