you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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