i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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