just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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