I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
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New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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