I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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