Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
whose parrot is this?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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