Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
