just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize