i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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