Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
