I have demons in me.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
