Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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