nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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