So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
