It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
