and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
