What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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