so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
