you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Randomize
